Shitty First Draft

Lindsey Hogan


Paper 1: Self-Inquiry/Reflection

Mayhem

Senior year stormed by like a wildfire bulldozing through miles of trees racked with drought, leaving only the remaining embers. As the year dwindled so did the threads that held my infamous Ursuline skirt together. This was no good since the hem police patrolled the halls daily hoping to catch a disheveled school girl. The last days in sight I thought I had duped the police once and for all, only to find out that I was headed for a run in with the chief of hem police: our disciplinarian, Mrs. Bender.

She caught me strolling into homeroom early one morning with a wild-looking hem. Our eyes dead-locked as if we were in a showdown and I knew I had just bought myself a ticket to the finale. She sauntered up to me with a condescending look that screamed “silly little girl” and ordered my presence in her office after announcements. Hot steam shot out of my ears as my face turned fuchsia with fury. I thought, “Was she joking! One week left and she decides now, after my skirt has been in this condition ALL year, to address the issue of my hem?!” Sitting in homeroom I had begun to formulate a list of my counter-argument; Needless to say, as the time dragged on so did my list.

The announcements ceased and I began the walk to Mrs. Bender’s office. I arrived after much procrastination, entered the office and stood defensively, like a lion prepared to defend her kill. The surrounding staff had frozen, sensing the high tension and not wanting to be caught in Mrs. Bender’s wrath made no sudden movement; the silence was deafening. Then all hell broke loose as her jaw dropped and the rehearsed faulty-hem speech roared from her ________. She spoke her peace and expected me to follow protocol and sulk out the door with my chin on my chest in shame but she really should have known better from our numerous encounters. I composed my thoughts, looked her in the eyes and level-headedly explained to her why this was outrageous. “There are four more days of class, I’m not wasting money to get my skirt hemmed and even if I did it wouldn’t be ready till the last two days. I have ten projects, not to mention other homework to do and no time to hem a skirt. My dad does not sew; my mom works all day and has limited time to do things for herself and no time to sew a hem that will be used for four days. Every senior’s hem is messed up considering we’ve had our skirts for four years. I would staple it but you don’t approve. . . .” The list continued like this for ten more minutes until I had to take a breath.

The silence resumed as we seared holes in each other’s foreheads. Minutes had passed before she finally said, “I don’t care, get it fixed by tomorrow or you’ll have Saturday detention.” And although I hadn’t won the battle, the war was far from over and I had definitely rattled her cage.

In hindsight I did not have much working in my favor. To start off with my primary audience was my disciplinarian, Mrs. Bender. She was the specific person I was trying to convince I should not have to hem my skirt when there was only one week of school left. She had a ‘my way or the highway’ mindset, not to mention she did not have any faith that I was of good character or sense (ethos).

My secondary audience weighed a little more in my favor, although they had no weight in the outcome of the situation. This audience included: the surrounding faculty, the senior class, the underclassmen, and my family. The surrounding faculty members were included because they were in ear shot of the battle, wearing sympathetic looks. The senior class was a secondary audience because the ply for no hemming so close to the end of the year involved almost every senior whose skirts had fallen to the wear and tear of four years. The underclassmen were a secondary audience because, although some had already been caught for faulty hems, the more years they have under their belts the more likely their hems will deteriorate and they will have to deal with the skirt police. And finally my family was a secondary audience because they are an extension of me and definitely heard about the altercation.



Possible further analysis?

What order should I put this in?

• Proof

• Complications:

Logos & Ethos-facts of why I couldn't hem my skirt.

Pathos & Logos-no one in the senior class had their skirt hemmed but she picked me.

• Arrangement

• What have I learned?